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Why Are Kids Different at Home and at School?
It’s not unusual for kids to behave differently in different settings. For instance, you’d expect a child to act one way at a friend’s birthday party and another at her grandparents’ house. But the behavior of some kids — especially those with issues such as anxiety, learning disabilities, ADHD and autism — can vary much more markedly, especially when they’re at home versus school. This discrepancy can leave parents puzzled, if not upset, and worried that they’re doing something wrong.
Take the case of Sam, now 15, who is gifted but also diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD and learning challenges. His mother, Maratea Cantarella, who serves as executive director of Twice Exceptional Children’s Advocacy, recalls how challenges at school led to explosive behavior at home.
At school, between trying to please his teachers and interact with peers, “he was really working hard to keep himself in control,” Cantarella says. By the time he got home, “I felt often that he was just looking for a way to release all the built-up tension.” Release it he did, with 30-minute tantrums over homework or “really anything,” complete with screaming, throwing things, and sometimes kicking and head-butting. Afterward, when he was calm, she adds, “he would feel terrible shame and guilt.”
But for some kids, school is where their challenges are most visible. Chloe, 8, has selective mutism and social anxiety. Her mother, Kim Byman, says that at home, Chloe is a “fun, goofy, talkative, energetic girl.” But when she gets to school, she shuts down. She has never spoken to her teachers or classmates, though she participates in all areas that don’t require being verbal. She won’t ask to use the restroom; she waits until she gets home.
So why is it kids can perform so differently in different settings?
Why do some kids do better at school?
Some children may do a good job meeting expectations at school, but it’s such a struggle for them it will take its toll at home. Children with ADHD, anxiety, autism and learning disabilities “may be using a lot of their resources to follow directions or cope in the classroom,” says Stephanie Lee, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. Once all these kids get home, “it’s challenging for them to conjure up the same amount of resources to manage.”
Meanwhile, she adds, many kids, including those on the autism spectrum, benefit from the consistency, structure, predictability and routine that come with their school environment. This often cannot be mirrored at home “because that’s not how life works,” she says.
At school, rewards and consequences are likely to occur in a consistent way that may be more challenging for parents to set up at home. Also, social modeling in school can help kids fall into line, literally and figuratively. Finally, teachers have no time for dawdling: If a child doesn’t follow a direction on the first or second prompt, the teacher will likely have an immediate consequence, whereas parents might end up allowing their child to avoid or delay the next step because they spend a lot of time talking about it.
Reasons to Educate People – What are the Advantages of Education?
Were you one of those kids who liked to skip classes and just played video games all day long? Did you hate having to shave the head with a special clipper so as to comply with your school’s haircut policy? Did you detest doing homework and always submitted your school projects late because you just could not be bothered to do them as soon as possible? If you answered yes to all questions, you should know that attending school has a lot more to offer, and it can help mold you into an individual who can become an essential member of a society. Education should not be taken for granted:
It helps people become well-rounded
Education is more than just learning to read, write, and count. It also teaches kids how to become critical and logical thinkers. In this world, it is important to not only be able to speak out and give your opinions on various issues. It is also necessary that you can back up your arguments with reliable sources and evidences. In addition to that, it is also good to be able to hear out other people’s views and be open-minded about that and accept their differences.
It offers employment opportunities
Finishing school opens up a lot of opportunities for everyone. Once you graduate, you can start looking for jobs where you can practice the things that you have learned over the years and receive sufficient pay to cover your day-to-day needs. Starting your journeytowards your goals on the right track should help increase your confidence and establish you as a valuable member of society.
It makes the economy better
People with good educational backgrounds are likely to land well-paying jobs. The more higher education credits and accomplishments they get, the better employment options they have. Those who grew up poor but educated have a good chance of stepping up and transforming their lives, leading to a decrease in any society’s poverty rates.
It helps people make better decisions
Educated people can usually tell the difference between facts and myths. They know that vaccines do not cause autism, and they go out and get their children vaccinated to keep everyone safe and healthy. They have at least basic knowledge on how to manage finances, so they should be able to budget wisely, put aside some amount of money as savings, and not make irresponsible purchases often. They are aware of the negative impacts of wastes, trash, drugs, smoking, and other common societal problems, so they know what should be done to avoid those things and live a peaceful, healthy, and problem-free life.